Last night, Revenge returned. And as only Emily would have it, a lot of crap went down. Classy, really rich, smell good crap of course. With December’s finale full of classic “finale” torture, last night’s premier was made from the same cloth. Ashley Davenport is No more. That’s right Dashley fans. We kid, she’ll be back next week…we hope. SPOILER WARNING!
1. Emily & Aiden Fake-up.
These two are so hott together. That case has rested. But Not if Emily’s going to get justice for her father, goddamnit! The Matriarch herself, Victoria scehmes Emily back into Daniel’s heart in order to sway him away from his position at Greyson Global. And like hell she proceeds. Emily and our favorite accented character since Ashley stage a break-up for Danny to see, and just like that, the two past lovers, and almost spouses are making out by the end of the episode. Get it Em!
2. Jack calls the fuzz on the Ryan Brothers.
Jack does his best to make things right. But poor guy can’t and refuses to learn how to play by the rules of the Hamptons, and so he enlists the help of the cops. Immediate fail. The po-po find teen porter Declan guilty of harboring drugs? and a gun? OK. Superman Jack can’t let this happen and so turns himself in deeming all the findings of the police his. Jee Whiz, Will the fake Amanda Clark please stand up–because her baby daddy’s in Jail. Meanwhile mini-porter is stuck back at the bar with Shady McGee 1 and Shady McGee 2. I think I sleepover at Charlotte’s is in order, Dek.
3. Nolan’s past lover returns. For Good.
Marco, the guy who literally through a check probabaly worth thousands of dollars back into Nolan’s face returns. After siding with Danny boy to bring Nolan onto the darkside, he spends the rest of the episode trying to win Nolan’s heart back. Nolan has out heart, and we won’t let him give it to you. Padma, completely unaware of Nolan’s ways is left completely in the dark. Marco makes his way back into NolCorp, and that’s not where he wants to stay. He’s here to stay, and we’re here to watch him.
4. Emily takes down a judge, and suceeds.
Surely Emily wouldn’t let us down. The Head B in charge, besides Vikky Grey of course worked her magic and brought down a judge at a Charity Benefit. Said Judge was persuaded well by not only revealing her husband as crooked Judge and responsible for the conviction of David Clarke, but he she also labeled him a Wife beater–and we all know there’s nothing worse than that. And atlast we got to see Emily cross out another face with that infamous Red sharpie of hers. Thanks Em’! we missed that. Things are officially back in motion at the Hamptons.
Revenge is back, Sundays at 9PM on abc.